Friday, January 15, 2010

Roles and Rules




Every day, I refilled the kerosene lamps with kerosene, cleaned the glass chimneys with newspaper and lit them before dark. That was my task. I liked being responsible at the age of eight. I enjoyed watching the flame and playing the role of a light bearer.

My grandmother explained her 'home  before dark' rule. “You can play anywhere in town when you are free from doing chores but when you hear the church bells ring for praying ‘The Angelus’, you have to be home while the bell is ringing. Be prepared to kneel and join me in praying The Angelus.“

      I understood my role as my grandmother’s assistant and her curfew rule. I found nothing wrong with the rule and I followed it until one evening. I was too engrossed in the game we were playing. I heard the first bell, the one rung by the parish priest to call the bell ringer. Usually, I start running home at that time, but this time I ignored it. I wanted the game to continue a little longer since my team was losing and I wanted to see if we could win.

      Win or lose, my inner voice told me to start running home, a few minutes too late. I got home. Everything was dark. I hurried up the stairs and fell. I did not quite navigate the stairs perfectly in the dark. Not only was I late, I scraped my knee from the fall and I had to face my grandmother for not following the rule.

      My grandmother simply said, “No one else is here to light the lamps but you. Now we have customers I have to serve in the dark. On top of that, you hurt yourself all because you did not get home on time to do your duty.” End of sermon. I knew I was negligent of my responsibility and nature dealt me the consequence. I understood very clearly that I got what I deserved and no one is to blame but myself.

        I refilled the lamps with kerosene, cleaned the glass chimneys and lit the wicks. In an instant, I transformed darkness into light and restored normalcy in the household.

         I reflected on a few things.

         I need to do my task because not doing it made me hurt myself. (punishment).

        For the privilege of playing across town allowed by my grandmother, I ought to do what I am supposed to do. (even exchange).

       I can’t let my grandmother down. I hate to see her angry at me. I will lose my special status as her favorite granddaughter. (good girl status to please).

      I see how disruptive was my act of negligence. The rule of lighting the lamps before dark makes sense. (rule).

       I should strive to do my task because it is my responsibility and I have made a contract with my grandmother. I honor my commitment. (contract).

          I do my job because it is the right thing to do. (doing what is right).

       The incident resulting with a scraped knee was a wake up call. Not all actions have immediate reaction. There is a time lag between action and reaction. For example, eating sweets does not cause us to blow up like a balloon immediately after eating. Continue the pattern over an extended amount of time and one either suffers from dental caries, excessive weight gain, elevated sugar level or even diabetes.

      The first puff of smoke may not cause any visible symptoms. Given enough accumulation of nicotine in the lungs, lung cancer could form.

       Imagine a two-pan balance. On the left - hand side, place a big rock. On the right - hand side place one little pebble. No shift in weight occurs. Continue placing one pebble at a time and watch what happens. A point is reached when one last pebble tips the scale. We have reached the tipping point, the point at which previously unseen effects of past actions will begin to manifest.

        The  same  is  true  with  our   thoughts   and   feelings.   Medical   science   has acknowledged that stress causes a chain of reactions physiologically which ultimately lead to hypertension. Louise Hay has made a catalog of correlations between negative thought patterns and resulting ailments.

      We reap what we sow. If we keep insulting or blaming our friends, we lose them. On the other hand, if we listen, encourage and appreciate our friends, we are cherished by them and we keep them. They will be ready to help us just as we have helped them. The Law of Cause and Effect is impartial. No one needs to be standing guard to catch us doing wrong or right and dispense punishment or reward. The universe takes care of that and we can be sure that it does this role perfectly.

      What part do you agree? Disagree? What is your thinking on this matter? Let me hear from you. Sign up as a follower so you get automatic notification every time a new blog is posted.

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